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I don't know about you but the adult me has struggled.  It makes me sad to know that my adult life, up until a few years ago, was miserable.  My battle with my weight led to a cycle of being miserable, unhappy, and depressed for so long.  I am so thankful that I finally found a way to break that cycle...

Some time ago, I was cleaning house on a Saturday morning because during the week I spent all my time in the classroom.  My mind was going in circles about  everything I had to do, how I had no energy, and the fact that I had yet another doctors appointment coming up.  You know how when your inner voice is focused on the negative, it starts searching for hope?  You hear things you normally wouldn't hear and you pay attention to things that normally wouldn't matter much.  As I was picking up my bedroom I heard someone on TV say "gastric bypass is being called the miracle cure for Type 2 Diabetes".  I stopped right where I was standing and tuned in, full on focus.

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This was the answer I had been looking for.  It is called a "miracle"!  I actually got excited about the possibility of not having to swallow two gigantic pills and take a shot ever again.  I immediately saw myself as being healthy and fit.  I fast forwarded my life in my mind to just a few months and could see that I was wearing cute clothing and just...well, happy.  

Monday, morning with the words "miracle" still ringing in my ears I wrote on my planner for my upcoming doctors appointment to talk to him about gastric bypass.  Is it possible that I could again be free of medication and healthy like I was in my youth?  We would see.  I was determined to find out.

See that picture at the top in the bathing suit and hat?  It was taken just a few months after that doctors visit.  Still no gastric bypass, although I more than qualified.  Between my Type 2 Diabetes, weight, height, high blood pressure, and cholesterol I was officially labeled "Morbidly Obese".   This my friend, was a health crisis.

Morbidly Obese - I had to look up these this term.  It's a pretty common term in today's society but have we given much thought to what it actually means?  After some research on the day I was labeled I slowly closed my laptop and cried.  As a mom of 3 beautiful boys, I was essentially committing suicide.  I was allowing myself to die and early death by way of fat.  By way of being obese.  This was a morbid realization and I was not okay with it.  So, imagine my heart break when the doctor I had been seeing said that my insurance wouldn't cover the procedure and I could write for an appeal or pay out of pocket to the tune of around $20,000.  

I simply could not do that to my family.  I was willing to be sliced and diced for my family and run many health risks later but I was not willing to accumulate that much debt.  What was I going to do?

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When all hope seems lost, that is the bottom.  I  decided I would continue to do what I had been doing.  Taking my medicine, eating as healthy as I knew how, and exercising regularly.  I'd been doing these things for years off and on and usually quite after a few months because of lack of progress.  

So, I picked myself back up and started trying again.  After a month of diet and exercise I'd list around...drum roll please.  3.4lbs.  SCREAM!  

Turns out my hope was waiting for me and turns out, I had friends trying their hardest to share it with me for months...years... and I would not listen.  I'm a skeptic.  That is all.

This time, I made the call.

I have this amazingly fit friend who told me she was doing something that was getting her even more fit.  So naturally I thought it wasn't for me.  Until I saw she was helping people lose weight.  I called her up and asked.  She told me it was a healthy eating plan with a line of supplements...supplements?  What does that even mean?  Who cares!  IT WAS WORKING FOR OTHERS.  I knew, because she was healthy and health conscious, that was as important to me as anyone.  I needed to lock arms with someone who knew what to do and cared enough to help me.

All 265 pounds of  me met my friend at her house for her to measure and photograph me.  This picture of me, looking defeated, miserable, sick, unhappy, scared.  I was sucking in.  I was not looking forward to the measuring tape.  That came next.  
I had just spent money on myself too.  I had actually invested in me because I was told if it didn't work I could get my money back.  So, why not?  Let's do this.  I've got nothing else to lose and I have no idea what else to do.  I left her house that day and cried.  I was scared.  What if this last ditch effort didn't work.  What if I actually couldn't get that money back?  What if my kids went without groceries because I bought meal replacement shakes and vitamins?  What if it didn't...
Wait.
What if it did.... What if it did help me?

A few days later a big box arrived and with the typed up instructions my friend gave me I started sorting the boxes and bottles.  I seriously had NO IDEA what I was doing or what these things where or why they were important.  I just trusted.  I bought the recommended groceries and set everything out for the next day.  I was doing this.

Fast foward 10 days... I'd lost 5 inches off my waist and 6 pounds.
Fast forward 24 days... I'd lost 17 inches and 16 lbs total.

Done!  I was done looking for answers.  I've found it. 
Done! I was done feeling miserable.  I felt amazing.
Done! I was done struggling with self doubt.  I had hope.

Before the year was out I'd lost 70lbs.  I felt amazing and I was actually helping others.  I was being educated on why our bodies need supplements and that supplementation for what our diet is missing is much different than what people thing it is.  It's not a miracle pill or really...anything weight loss.  It's simply giving your body what it needs to heal itself while feeding your body the nutrition it needs.  

​This is not a sales pitch, there is no link to buy a thing.  This is truly life changing, hope for many.  
Here is the new me and I can't wait to see what this next year holds as I run through 2018.