Lies, All Lies

In 2015, I was in a real spiritual battle.  My husband and I were embarking on something that the Lord had called us to do and within that the Devil knew that God was placing us into the battle for a purpose.  We remain victorious as long as we are in His Will.  Let me take you back to a journal entry.

February 2015
The Devil tells me daily...
Aimee, you are a terrible wife.  You will never be good enough spiritually.  Nothing you ever do will change how your husband feels, he always thinks you are tearing him down.  It will be and always has been a battle.  No words you express will be considered uplifting.  He will think there is always a hidden agenda.  You have tried, you went a great deal of time before doing it all right, and yet a slip and you're back to square one.  Aimee, aren't you tired of trying?  Isn't it easier to just let it go, what good is it to pray everyday?  Where does it get you?  Are you happy?  No!  You are crying!  Is it worth it?  Your husband doesn't pray for you, but you pray every single day for him.  Where does it get you?  You don't have real friend either.  He is really all you have and look how that's working out for you?  Not looking too good for you,  huh?

The Devil told me these lies every single day in some form or another.  Daily, I battled him over my marriage and self image.  I called him off.  I called on Angels.  And daily he found his way in my head.  Daily, I felt worthless.  I spent days trying until I was tired and word down.  He is such a liar.

My husband says "Stop listening to the Devil." However, the Devil was attacking me all the time.  

Here's the good news!

I wanted to yield, but didn't know how.
I wanted to shake the Devil, but he had a stronghold.
I wanted the Spirit to move in, but I couldn't move myself out.
I wanted the world to see God, but I was in the way.

Just now, today, I stood in my kitchen talking to my husband.  Now, it's been over 3 years since I wrote the above lies in my journal.  I see him differently.  Sure, we have the same battles.  It took an act of God and complete submission on my part, with my heart, to see my husband the way God saw Him, and in turn, how they both saw me. 

"Your husband is a great man of God."
Those words were spoken over me in prayer over a year ago and when they were said they caught me.  I wasn't expecting them at all.  Nope, I thought the prayers were going to be about the battle we were facing within the foster care system.  Instead, the prayers spoken over me turned into something more beautiful.  Something that grounded my faith in ways that I can't explain.  

I left that prayer meeting changed.  I had never experienced anything like it.  I am forever changed.
My drive home was silent and full of reflection.  My husband is a good man.  He works hard.  He has deep faith.  He is a man.  He makes mistakes and doesn't always know how to approach me, even after 25 years of loving each other.  He loves me!  We both make mistakes.  What I do know, is that it took a word from someone else for me to see my husband the way that God saw him.  

Obey God and not man, for it was man that murdered Jesus and God who raised him.  -Acts 5:29-30

Far to often, I have approached my marriage from a worldly perspective.  I have taken bad advice and I have acted on what others saw fit for my marriage.  

My husband is a great man of God.  I never saw it before like I needed to see it that day.  Today, we stood in the kitchen and talked.  We shared some hopes and dreams and hard realities.  Marriage isn't always just about the love between to people, sometimes it's just about having a vision of where you're going together.  We know it's going to be hard but we want the rewards that come with working things out and learning to understand each other.  We are willing to pray and submit  to God's plan for us.

All of those things the Devil constantly said to me... LIES  
None of it is or was true.
Don't let him do the same to you.
You were created to be your husband's wife.  Hold onto that truth.

To learn more about the hope and resurrection that God can do in your marriage through your devotion and His Word, join us this Fall with the release of the completed collection of devotionals by Aimee.  40 Days of Bible focused, prayer focused devotionals written to help you become a wife of prayer, influence, and strength.  

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